Cold Open
Yeah, hot take advisory in effect. Get out the ice packs. Also, in real life, get out the MASKS. ACXC is at Mooney’s Bay again this year. Apparently, per the first result on google search, the Mooney’s were LOCKMASTERS. Masters of the lock. Not the key kind though. Fuck those locks. We’re talking HYDRAULICS babyyyy. The best master lock in the world is absolute garbage against a pressurized stream of H2O. The Mooney’s could fuck one right up. Give them a call for your next bank robbery. ANYWAY. Let’s go safari mode and take a look at these dang ACXC fields…
Women’s
Alrighty, let’s take a look at some of the contenders:
- Kate throw your hands up in the Ayer-Ay-Ayers
- 3rd last year, top returner
- 5th in the 5,000m this summer
- Finished with the Tbirds university athletes at BCXC
- Kate Bazeley
- Newfoundland sensation pissed us off last year when we missed her in the entries and then she placed fourth. NOT THIS TIME.
- 74:33 half marathon in Toronto in October
- Catherine Beachemin
- U SPORTS en argent après avoir explosé les championnats du RSEQ deux semaines auparavant
- Laval cheveux rouges vitesse BOOST
- Kyla Becker
- Beckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
- 16th at U SPORTS on what seemed like a bit of an off day.
- Marley Beckett
- 11th at U SPORTS on what seemed like an on day, but might be stronger over 10k than 8.
- Jade Bérubé
- Rough one at U SPORTS (30th) but has had a strong season after a string of injuries.
- Joanna Brown
- 2-time Olympic triathlete finished 6th at U SPORTS in 2021 and has been known to frequent treadmill grind seshies with Malindi Elmore WITH the temperature locked on suffer mode. Could be dangerous on an XC course, but not any recent races that we have found to confirm.
- Zoe Burke
- 15th last year, haven’t seen much from this year. Ya never know.
- Malindi Elmore
- 2:23:30 was good for 13th at the Berlin Marathon and is big nasty, but that’s almost a full TWO HOURS slower than what these folks will run for 10k in Ottawa… Even 2:23:30 pace for 10k is a full blast though. Definitely a favourite to win as long as she doesn’t get thrown off by bumps in the running terrain. None of this smooth road stuff in XC.
- Makenna Fitzgerald
- CCAA champion
- Ally Ginther
- 8th in 2021 but 21st last year, she was 4th at BCXC ahead of all the TBirds university athletes and went home with their triple O’s.
- Jessy Lacourse
- 16:15 5k aux championnats de course sur ROUTE. Comment va-t-elle faire du course sur HERBE?
- Mikaela Lucki
- AOs champ was 13th last year.
- Ceili McCabe
- 2nd in the steeplechase at the Canadian championships this past summer and was 3rd at NCAAs in 2021.
- Katie Newlove
- Will put you in a bin, if you want. U SPORTS champion.
- Leslie Sexton
- DNFed at BCXC but always a contender and was nasty this past track season. 9th last year.
- Erin Teschuk
- Hammered 16:22 on the roads in Hamilton 3 weeks ago and was 7th last year.
- Rachel Mortimer
- 15th at U SPORTS. 9th at BCXC. Up there with the other cleves mucking triple O’s.
- Top 5 in no particular order
- Bazely
- Beauchemin
- Elmore
- McCabe
- Newlove
- Teschuk
Hey you put 6 in the top 5! Too bad, we make the rules on here.
TEAM BATTLE
Tbirds easy.
Men’s
- Andrew Alexander
- Toronto half champ this guy really knows how to join teams at the last minute. If Harbour loses now that’s a lap.
- Nick Bannon
- Royal City needs a big one from Bannon Cannon. He sandbagged U SPORTS so he might have it in him.
- Connor Black
- Defending champ, be careful whenever you see this guy with a cowboy hat on.
- Thomas Broatch
- Toronto Marathon champion. It’s famously hard to come off of that and do well at ACXC. Thomas the tank engine is just blasting through switches out there though I mean he can absolutely derail himself if he wants. 13th last year.
- Evan Burke
- Ran a 13:44 outdoors but who knows.
- Jeremy Coughler
- It took Mo Ahmed and Cam Levins to beat him over 10k in Ottawa on the roads in May. Then he won the 10,000m out in BC in the summer. 7th last year.
- Andrew Davies
- 3rd at U SPORTS where the BC boys took the dub. Now he will try to help Harbour Track take the W. This guy knows how to celly.
- Max Davies
- 14th at U SPORTS and sources are saying he is looking to flatten the hill like a pancake.
- Jean-Simon Désgagnes
- Un coupé acide 🔥.
- Jonathan Desouza
- Ran a 14:21 in April. Some guys head over to the NCAA and you just have no idea what shape they could be in. Rhombus?
- Joshua Desouza
- Ran a 13:50 in April. Some guys head over to the NCAA and you just have no idea what shape they could be in. Triangle?
- Cole Dinsdale
- Buddy features in T Birds videos and knows how to win prediction contests out there plus rocks the flow.
- Tyler Dozzi
- Is it possible to sandbag for ACXC without running U SPORTS? The answer is yes. This guy is in permanent beach mode. So as long as he brings bags there once in a while he’s good.
- Alex Drover
- Red Rover Red Rover I call Drover over to cut through some T birds.
- Evan Elder
- Putting him in this list is a meme and he knows it. High on the Evan rankings though.
- Thomas Fafard
- Tedeschi a pris la victoire sur lui aux championnats du Québec mais il a incubé pendant 4 semaines supplémentaires. Butterfly mode baby. PAPILLON.
- Christian Gravel
- 16th last year and the T Birds are looking for a big one. Like type the number 1 key on your keyboard at font size: a million.
- Rob Kanko
- 3rd at the Toronto half behind Alexander and Turek.
- Kieran Lumb
- Made the worlds team for the 1500 but 10k hits different.
- Jordan MacIntosh
- Not a bad apple.
- Kieran McDonald
- Might hang out with slow ships but has fast feet.
- Philippe Morneau-Cartier
- Les cheveux ont été coupés complètement pour obtenir un effet de zoom supplémentaire.
- Phil Parrot-Migas
- PPM = ACXC peak wizard.
- Mark Patton
- Gunning for third.
- John Perrier
- JP has been mucking enough Cinnamon Toast Crunch to fully recover from a fully sent U SPORTS where he finished 5th.
- Charles Philibert-Thiboutot
- Les sources disent qu’il a pris une bender suffisamment importante pour courber une crosse de hockey, nous voierons s’il peut se ressaisir et mettre le puck dans le filet. Top cheese. Fromage HAUT.
- Cameron Proceviat
- Third in 2021 but this course isn’t quite as bumpy.
- Mike Tate
- The mayor always comes to play at ACXC.
- Jonathan Tedeschi
- Treize aux U SPORTS mais la meilleure chevelure.
- Jaiveer Tiwana
- Feel bad about leaving Jaiveer out of our T Birds meme. He was 10th at U SPORTS and we missed him in the entries. F.
- Max Turek
- Andrew Alexander edged him in Toronto and now they’re teammates. 3rd last year.
- Mitchell Ubene
- 5th last year and this guy really knows how to cross golf course bridges and put concrete to leather out there.
- Lee Wesselius
- Ran a 2:14 marathon in October so that’s pretty good stuff.
- Top 5 in no particular order
- Alexander
- Bannon
- Black
- Coughler
- A. Davies
- JSD
- Lumb
- Morecar
- CPT
- CameRunPro
- Tate
- Turek
- Ubene
- TEAM BATTLE
- Tbirds: Lumb, Dozzi, Broatch, Perrier, Gravel, Deghan, Tiwana
- Harbour: Turek, Alexander, Davies, Drover, Nusselder, Tyrrell
- Laval: CPT, MoreCar, JSD, Tedeschi, Fafard, Girardin
- Bandits: Tate, Black, PPM, Coughler, Sheffar, Masters
- Royal City: Ubene, Bannon, Davies, Patton, Kinahan
Verdict: Tbirds are the meme favourites but we think it will be Laval and Harbour track battling for the win here. The London Bandits went rock concert amp mode last year and boomed one, but can they do it again? It depends a lot on if PPM can channel star wars and have another ACXC laser beam. Royal City is gunning for third and could maybe sneak in if they combine saying the phrase a million times with big runs from Ubene and Bannon. It will be interesting to see how it all shakes out. Bring your maracas.
Fun Fact: The last 5 U SPORTS men’s champions are in this one. Black, Lumb, Ubene, Turek, Morneau-Cartier.
Now go to sleep!