ALRIGHT folks. We said we were NEVER gonna do this again but after destroying four boxes of post-halloween discount Scare Paws (TM) it became clear that this was going to happen. HOT TAKES O’CLOCK. Remember to enter the prediction contest if you haven’t yet. There are three prizes up for grabs courtesy of New Balance.
Women’s Division
Current Top 10
Victoria, St. FX, Western, UBC, Queen’s
Windsor, Laval, Guelph, UBCO, McMaster
Other Top 10 Contenders
Guelph, Sherbrooke, UNB
Analysis
Perhaps, PERHAPS, the most interesting story of this competition is whether or not St. FX can redeem themselves after following up a huge AUS breakthrough bronze in 2023 with a fourth place finish last year. They return three of their top five and four of their top seven. Plus, Poppy Moon is launching rockets to the moon this season. You gotta think those athletes are going to be sugar cereal bender type hungry for a medal and you just know Coach Gilly is sending them through single-track-trails in golf ball hail conditions for training like usual. They aren’t as deep as the last two years though. They need good runs from all of their top five. NO PRESSURE.
WHAT ELSE? Western has too few returning from last year to seriously challenge. They did replace Erika Jordan with Erika Gordon tho. Are their top four strong enough to carry them through to the top five?
CanWest seems like it could be kinda nasty. Eybergen and McNeil are in their own league at the moment, EMXCL (Eybergen-McNeil Cross Country League, or maybe Electric Monster Cross Country League). IS VICTORIA GOOD THOUGH? They were third last year and return basically everyone plus added Eybergen and Ella Lane. Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes but this team is gonna be playing Dolla Dolla Billz Boulevard they’re gonna be in your cheers and win the prize.
Is UBC GOOD? University of Bigtime Cleves is out for more you can be sure they’re gonna be raking teams like fresh fall leaves out there, the last four years they’ve been 4th-2nd-1st-2nd. No Holly MacGillivray and no Rachel Mortimer will make things a bit more difficult on the parcours de Sherbrooke but Sarah MacGillivray has put up BIG numbers this year and look out for the triple-threat-three-musketeer squad Fleming, Ylipahkala, and PFOHL. Sources have told us they have been fine tuning their chemistry by executing three-person paddle board balance sessions in the UBC pool during unsanctioned rec centre hours. Wow.
Is the OUA good? St. FX put the absolute muck on everyone at the Vigars and Salter invite in September but that was early stuff and Queen’s wasn’t there. McDougall is putting up pretty nasty times, we will see how long she can hang with the EMXCL. Queen’s will need a strong run from one of their 5-7 runners to medal while VROOM and Goodjohn are pretty reliable leaders up front for them. Windsor will need their fourth and fifth to step it up if they want a medal. Big improvement from Joelle-a-elle-a-Olla going from 31st to 8th at OUA this year for the lanceroni pizzas with extra cheese. The return of Samara Quanz is huge too, she was third at OUA.
RSEQ ? Les meilleures performances de cette conférence l’année dernière ont été la 10e et la 11e place de Laval et Sherbrooke, mais cette année, les choses pourraient changer avec le retour du parcours dans la belle province. Laval a recruté deux phénomènes du CÉGEP, Morgane Drouin et Léane Baril, et Marie-Renée Émond, qui vient chez UQTR. Ces trois athlètes ont suffi à battre les Vert et Or lors des championnats provinciaux. Les Sensations de Sherbrooke alignent les sœurs Fournier dans leur équipe derrière Laurence Gauthier, qui s’est classée 13e à U SPORTS l’année dernière, et elles vont courir à leur parcours domicile. Méfiez-vous des Québécoises. Elles sont rapides sur leurs patins.
Hot Takes
1. Victoria
2. UBC
3. St. FX
4. Queen’s
5. Laval
6. Western
7. Sherbrooke
8. UBCO
9. Windsor
10. UNB
Individuals
1. McNeil
2. Eybergen
3. MacDougall
4. Tripotin
5. Courville
Verdict
Needs more patins.
Men’s Division
Current Top 10
Queen’s, Sherbrooke, Guelph, Laval, UNB
McMaster, Victoria, Windsor, UBC, St. FX
Other Top 10 Contenders
Regina, UBC, Western
Analysis
The Queeners are looking pretty solid and it’s hard to believe that the U SPORTS XC era of Wheeling Dees will come to a close tomorrow. They return five of their top seven and the other teams better look out because they will be tossing Mironov Rashid-Cockertails all over the place. These Hueglin and Danby guys seem like loose cannons. Definitely lighten the mood in the locker room when the other guys get too serious.
Is GUELPH nasty? A good portion of that assessment will depend on the abilities of Christian laundry Rachner to really dry things out. It might be past Halloween but Jack-o-Lehtern still has to be lighting it up. These guys scored 69 at OUA. Nice.
Is McMaster good? They have a full team of guys who are mid, which is more than most of the other teams, but do they have anyone who’s nasty? Sources are telling me they still mix backwards bear crawl sessions into their weekly training logs. Maybe that’s how this Iain Thompson guy got pretty good. Still, Ryan Davies is going to need to really work to get these guys into the silly zone if they want to finish better than seventh. He has the mindset to do it.
Morecar est de retour en pleine régime pour le rouge et or. Le champion 2023 et 2024 est probablement le favori pour remporter la victoire et réaliser un triplé, et il est évident qu’il a lavé les autos. La question est de savoir s’ils ont suffisamment de profondeur pour remporter une médaille sans Toupin et Girardin, qui étaient présents l’année dernière, mais Laval termine toujours la saison U SPORTS en force, et puis ils dansent en force aussi.
Sherbrooke a surpris tout le monde l’année dernière en terminant deuxième, et c’était la première fois que Not Trackie voyait deux équipes québécoises dans le top 3. Ces gars continuent à faire des merveilles avec la magique de la BUZINGO BOMB (R.I.P. 🙏) . Voyons s’ils peuvent faire de même sur leur terrain. Quatre de leurs cinq meilleurs coureurs sont de retour, mais ils ont ajouté Pierre-Yves Normandin, vétéran de cinquième année, à leur alignement, derrière le duo dynamique Turgeon-Quirion. On sait pertinemment que ces « oreilles soiré » gars-là ne cessent de faire trembler les fondations de nombreuses maisons de leur quartier à tour de rôle en organisant d’énormes concerts de rock dans plusieurs sous-sol. Difficile d’imaginer qu’une autre équipe puisse égaler cette énergie. Nous voulons qu’ils gagnent. Lemaitre, il va faire la course ?
How legit is UNB? Gordie Howse won a silver medal last year which was fueled by an NHL on TNT theme song emersion tank. Conlin-Morse has improved and Will is still Boyling water out there. After that though it’s mostly rookies. WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN.
St. FX? They put up a real challenge against UNB at the Atlantic championship but how will they stack up in a U SPORTS field? Brett King, Luke MacDonald, and Liam Patterson lead it up front for this team who under the Eric Gillis training program have been doing vo2 miles while playing the bagpipes. That’s sure to get the lungs working. I get burned every time I gas this team up though.
Maybe the most pressing question for this competition is this: IS KUCHAR NASTY? The quality of the teams coming out of CanWest depend on it. The Vikings were ninth last year but only return two from that team of seven. Regina has two TEICHLERRRRRRRS and one Brett MacLean stirring the pot for them. Sources are saying those guys meet regularly to fine-tune a quality beef stew recipe. Max Filion was 16th last year for UBC and second at the CanWest champs this time around so he will be looking to filly into the all-Canadian zone.
Hot Takes
1. Sherbrooke
2. Queen’s
3. Laval
4. UNB
5. Guelph
6. Victoria
7. McMaster
8. St. FX
9. Windsor
10. Western
Individuals
1. Morneau-Cartier
2. Howse
3. Wheeler-Dee
4. Lehto
5. Davies
Verdict
Needs more bagpipes.
C’est tout. Bonne chance. Free Palestine.
-NT