Not Trackie: The Final Predictions, Predictions

Cold Cold Open

Yeah, the seventh PROPER prediction iteration seems like a good place to call it. PROPER because hardcore friends of the show will remember that we did a prediction simulator in 2020 while university sports were cancelled during the start of the pandemic, which would make it eight. SEVEN because anyone who knows what sekib means at Guelph also knows that you have to call it out when there are seven seconds left before the start of the next rep. CALL IT OUT. SEVEN!

The RunningHotTakes website will continue to exist. Predictions Contests will also probably continue to exist. Results will continue to exist in some form. But the predictions columns and tweets probably won’t. They take a while to do, and we’re just a little too old and disconnected from 18 and 19 year-olds entering the sport at this point to keep up the grind. Fuckin embarrassing? Maybe. But sometimes you walk 5km to the airport on a crisp Sunday daylight-savings-time morning from a crappy hotel in Northwest Winnipeg to catch a 6am flight after taking in the 2024 U SPORTS track & field championships and meeting some legacy U Manitoba legends who competed back during THE DINOS era of Not Trackie. And when you do that, you slip on a lot of ice, but you also realize that as much as writing this stuff is fun, being 10 years older than rookie athletes is a little bit of a stretch, and there are more important things in a problematic world that demand your time. Sometimes you also realize this while you’re ubering to the airport on a crisp Sunday daylight-savings-time morning from a nicer hotel in Saskatoon to catch a 6am flight after taking in the 2023 U SPORTS track and field championships and picking your stuff up from Andrew Peverill’s room (because he was nice enough to let you keep it there), but then decide to shred the pred for another year anyway lol.

ANYWAY, LET’S CUT THE SOB STORY! We’re gonna quick-hit the political stuff RIGHT NOW and then move on. So PAY ATTENTION.

Let’s assess where we’re at shall we?

  1. Ongoing pandemic
    • Few people masking.
    • Athletes getting COVID and long COVID.
  2. Global Conflicts
    • For over a year now, we have watched live on our devices as Palestinians are subjected to genocide at the expense of Israel and USA, as well as countries like Canada that export weapons to Israel [1,2,3].
    • Athletes are being killed, athletics infrastructure is being destroyed.
  3. Worsening climate crisis
    • Extreme weather events like forest fire smoke, heat waves, and flooding disrupt sporting events and training.
    • A warming planet increases the risk of new viral pandemics.
    • A warming planet is increasing the risk of conflict-related displacement around the world.

Sounds bleak! Gotta love that the climate crisis has compounding effects on viral disease and global conflict eh? LUCKILY, you can do something about it. Actually, you HAVE to do something about it. Nobody is going to do it for you, not politicians, and certainly not private corporations. If you don’t act, things will only get worse. It’s understandable to not know where to start. We didn’t! We tried a whole bunch of things in our last few years of being a university student. Most of it didn’t work, but some did.

We’re compiling some of the stuff we learned into a zine that will be posted next week. Normally we would say “read OR DON’T,” but we hope people will read it. Feel free to hit up the DM’s if you have questions. They’re more wide open than a city street during a late night run home from the bar. That’s how I have been able to pay for this website, taxi savings from jogging it in after being kicked off the D floor (or in some cases maybe by walking and losing a shoe).

We were where you were once, sitting in a hotel room reading online running commentary before an important race. Or maybe you’re sitting at home with some teammates or family members getting ready to watch your friends race. We’ve been there too. Politics doesn’t seem important when you’re 100% dialed-in to sports, but it is, always has been, and always will be. That’s why one of the most popular sports photos of all time features John Carlos and Tommie Smith raising their fists on the podium.

Yeah, the Suess meister might have gotten bad press for racist stereotypes with some of his characters, but this message aged well at least.

Cold Open

Alrighty then holy heck. What’s left for more cold open? Plus d’ouvertures à froid? It’s been an interesting year of Cross Country I guess. The season of races being held in the middle of nowhere. North Bay for Ontario. St. John’s for the AUS. Kelowna? That’s a four hour drive from Van City and a two hour drive from Kamloops, which is AT BEST the third best loops after fruit and hula.

We might have to do some callbacks in these preds. Some CALGARY MF DINOS for sure. Il faut absolument plus des laves-autos. Maybe we’ll mix in a few Cleves while we’re at it. We know that the Huskies love to hear that sweet sweet twang of Chaddy Kroegs and the boys. But for some reason we always had a soft spot for the Atlantic Squads. Milk City 2021 babyyyyyy. Speaking of the Atlantic, we already mentioned After Party Andrew Peverill (#AP@theAP), so we might as well end the cold open by dropping a Peverill fan video that we never got around to posting during the 2024 track and field season. Good compliment to Zach James from indoors. Love to see it. Shoutout to Adam Schmidt for adding commentary to both clips. The real verdict of all this is that Adam and I should commentate every important running race in Canada from now on.

And oh yeah, we were gonna make this the banner image but decided the final countdown one was better. Shoutout Hamilton legend BA Johnston who I have seen in concert two times now.

Women

Honny Mentions

Alrighty this was kinda hard. Our back-room analysts are telling us that McGill and Waterloo have a chance to crack the top 10. Dalhousie definitely had a chance to do it too, and it would have been cool to see how they stacked up against the rest of the country, but unfortunately they won’t be making the trip. Go Tigahs tho. UNB maybe had a chance but are only sending their musketeers. The Bialowas-Rodrigues-Bishop BRB trio out there could be fun to watch. Saskatchewan maybe has a chance, but needs Kaitlyn Harrison to go U SPORTS XC muck mode circa 2021 and 2023 when she finished 5th and 5th. CIRCA. Jenica Schwartz would have to go doorbell mode and hit a dinger as well and idk I always thought these wooden things (pic below) were a form of punishment, but maybe the back end of the squad is using them to do some Amazing Super Athletic Physio so that they can get to the line ASAP… gonna find myself in one of those getting tomatoes thrown my way if this keeps up.

Back to McGill. Might as well call her Sophie “Couris-ville” because she’s gonna have to go run city and get the rest of the squad focusing up on tag team WWE superslam further back in the pack to clinch a top tenski. Waterloo came the closest to a medal they have in a long time at the OUA championships. Breedon might have all-Canadian hopes on her mind after finishing 28th last year and taking down the OUA champion a couple weeks prior, and U SPORTS 1500m finalist Hillary Clark has been running well. Maybe their fifth or sixth runner goes hide and seek mode and finds something new in the tank on Saturday.

10. Guelph

This team can mix and match like the best of them it’s like thrift shopping out there somebody call Mackelmore. Who’s gonna race? Probably Gray, Yantha, McDougall, and Stapleton. Pestonji and Sandor have been missing from the lineup lately. They might be ranked 10th, but someone from this squad could easily go stairmaster mode and step up to shoot them a few spots lower.

Verdict: needs more stairs.

9. Sherbrooke

Ouais, j’opte pour un outsider avec la deuxième meilleure équipe du RSEQ. Elles se sont classés neuvièmes l’année dernière et reprennent quatre des sept athlètes de cette équipe. Il est important de noter que Gauthier est de retour et qu’elle continue à se battre contre des moulins à vent. MOULINS. Les « mouls » sont cool, et les athlètes de Sherbrooke le sont aussi, comme LL Cool J, elles vont te mettre en KO.

Verdict: needs more « mouls. »

8. McMaster

The OUA bronze medalist Marauders come in will all kinds of Marauder vibes I mean they’re all over the map and now I actually don’t like this pick because I feel like one of them is going to fire a red hot jalapeño at the results and absolutely sewer this thing like leaves during a fall rainstorm. Ana Morariu, Vicky had a little Lamb, and Emma “Electric” Elliot were the top OUA finishers for the birds. Sources are saying Emma has purchased a package of balloons from dollarama and has been rubbing them against the walls all day to absorb the static charge. That’s gonna be dangerous on the start line.

Verdict: needs more peppers.

7. Laval

Yeah, les bougies rougies ont vraiment brûlé les deux bouts lors des championnats du RSEQ. Même plus que les deux bouts. TOUS LES BOUTS. TOUTES LES BOUGIES. Pas de lampes. Si quelqu’un apporte une lampe sur la course, Camille Boudreau va l’envoyer sur la lune pendant que Noémie Beaulieu et Léa Pelletier montent à bord d’un vaisseau spatial et en gazent une jusqu’à la ligne d’arrivée, alors c’est un choix absolu pour le top 7 si cela se produit.

Verdict: needs more briquets (pour tous les bougies).

6. UBCO

More like UBC Oh My Goodness. Can Lauren McNeil take the W? It was Constance Nankivell who brought the HEAT at CanWest. Absolutely boomed one. Like wack your head on a sail boat pole type BOOM. McNeil is an international student who was second in 2021 and then idek, seems like she kicked back with some bangers and mash in the UK while randomly putting up a couple of nasty results like a 70 min halfy ferda kids. UBCO has a pretty tightly knit team with Smith, Lawlor, Milne, and Hamilton. Wigmore and Kaban too. They could probably catch a mosquito in their knitting project, that’s how seamless this squad can be sometimes. Home course too. Home grown Kelown(a). Sounds potent.

Verdict: needs more bangers.

5. Queen’s

Yeah, was a tough one with the queenster card. Are they gonna beat the T birds? Alysha Alkerton is having a solid season, she placed fourth at OUA’s. Lizzy Vroom must have slept inside a duct cleaning call centre before OUA’s because she was absolutely dialed in. We’ve been all over the place with intel from this team, first claiming they were using pigeons to run an undercover spy agency and then changing that around to ninja academy. The only conclusion then is that these athletes have been training to be ninja-spies who speak pigeon. That’s not an official language in Canada, but it seems to be worth something on the Cross Country course with the way they’ve been finishing. If they exploit the shadows to absolute perfection out there maybe they can ninja dust themselves into a podium position but it’s gonna be tough.

Verdict: needs more pigeons.

4. UBC

Per sources, many new Cleves were acquired this year, and so the culture of this team is back and better than ever. We’ve also been hearing that they’ve been mucking the elliptical miles because Stevey Weiler makes you do double the work if you ain’t running. That’s a hard rule Steve, that’s a rough rule. Have you ever used a squeaky elliptical? There’s probably nothing more annoying. It’s like sitting in a laundromat but with vertical-style washing machines that have all suddenly fallen out of alignment. Every spin your eardrums get wacked with a new high pitched jolt of sound. CAN’T HANDLE IT. How do the T Cleves handle it? Grease session baby. First they watch the musical, then they grease the squeak out of the machines, THEN they use what’s leftover to make a grease smoothy with protein powder… woah, okay idk about that last one, but if true then that’s some next level shit. Deep squad here and potential to challenge the best teams, but it’s gonna be a struggle to win without defending champion Katie Newlove, who will hopefully be back from injury next time around. Holly Mac leads the team alongside Rachel Mortimer and Abby Ylipahkala. What’s the opposite of a filling? A Pfhol. Yeah, Amelia is pretty fast too.

Verdict: needs more smoothies.

3. UVic

Yeah, this team has been construction zone mode just putting stuff together lately I don’t think an industrial-sized magnet could disrupt their pack formation out there on the course. Sources are saying they travelled to Kelowna by climbing into a box and getting loaded into a Canada Post Xpresspost ground shipping truck. That’s some impressive commitment. Erin Owens, Marisha Thompson, Elise Coates is a solid 1-2-3 punch. Colette Reimer, Delaney Chan, Elissa Frielink is solid 4-5-6 punch. Is fruit punch the best juice? 6 punches is definitely enough to make a batch. I gotta go with orange though. I think it’s gonna be tough for this team to do better than third, but between the magnets and boxes and punches I don’t know anymore.

Verdict: needs more oranges.

2. Western

Yeah, Ashley Maguire has entered the scene for the stangs this year and just made it her mission to rattle cages. Nobody is safe at the zoo when she visits. Behind her there’s a cast of fifth year vets with Olivia Roussel, Sandra “Radio Gaga” Guga, and Anna Carruthers. Fourth year Erika Jordan has been having a nasty season. The mustangs are favoured coming in and have been ranked first all year. Can they lock it down? Usually I would say something like “if they want to win, they have to lock themselves in a soundproof room for 5 hours and boot up Queen’s Greatest Hits on a high definition speaker to really get the cranial fluids prepped for an 8k senderoni sandwich with cheese,” but I don’t think they have to do that. Just stay the course. Sandwiches are still good though, as long as there are tomatoes on it. Tomatoless sandwich and now we’re in dicey territory.

Verdict: needs more tomatoes.

1. St. FX

Easily our hottest take but we’re going all in on the X-Women to take the dub. Eileen Benoit is nasty. Caroline Ash, Mairin Canning, Caden Lee, Allie Sandluck, and now ALSO rookie sensation from BEDFORD Poppy Moon? Nasty. Hannah McIntyre rounds out the squad. Apologies to Caden Lee for leaving you out of the predictions contest. Logistics team had some screw ups.
You just know Eric Gillis has sent these athletes through the ringer during practice sessions so that they’re ready for anything you throw at them. Dodgeballs? They’re dodging that. Baseballs? They’re catching that. Waffles, they’re putting syrup on that. Every hole even. That’s the only reason why waffles have a chance in the pancakes vs. waffles argument by the way. The holes act as maple syrup absorbing cups. Can’t beat that kind of engineering. St. FX will have their waffle irons out on the course on Saturday getting ready to cook whoever they see in their sights. You don’t want to get caught it one or you’ll find yourself being served with a few blueberries on top. I’m gonna stop waffling on this prediction and get it over with…

Verdict: needs more maple syrup.

Individuals

We already mentioned Constance Nankivell in the UBCO segment. She’s a threat to take the dub. So is Lauren McNeil. Madelyn Eybergen out of Windsor has been pretty dominant this season, coming out of nowhere as a second year to toss some XC courses around. Apparently she started her Lancer career as a high jumper, which was hilarious for me to find out because we always used to joke that for McMaster to actually have a good track and field team we would need to send some distance runners over to hop some high jump. Maddy did the opposite. Respect. I think Elisa Tripotin and Eileen Benoit will be right up there in the lead pack, and also Sophie Black from Moncton. It should be interesting.

Verdict: needs more vertical.

Men

Honny Mentions

The Trinity Western and Western proper boys find themselves on the outside of our top 10 looking in. Trinity Western has a couple really of solid low sticks in Yemane Mulugeta and Justin Kiplagat, but I’m not sure how the rest of the team stacks up. Western boys it depends who can represent on the day because they finished eighth last year and definitely have the facilities to do that again. One last ride for Marcel Scheele and Ethan Loucks. Then we got Ben Fox, Owen Parkes, Rory McGarvey, Tom Boers, Mark Royce. I’d take a Garvey over to the Parke in a Mark Rolls Royce any day of the week, Tom-orrow even. Jeeze. If these guys show up in absolute stance mode blasting some tunes with extra bass then they’ll be in it to win it… okay maybe not quite win it but you know what we mean.

We had a fan submission telling us that we should roast Regina for stealing the Alberta Golden Bear colours. Just adding to the Regina experience. Maybe it’s because Brett MacLean has started competing and convinced the school to make him blend in completely with Ron, who took the dub at CanWest after telling me his body was cement mixer mode when I last saw him in June. What a turnaround for that guy. Nobody can choo choo their train around a cross country course better than he does.

Who’s repping THE DINOS this year? MAXY COOKS, BRADY FOLSTER, EDDY HEALS, ETHAN MEYESKI, JASON USHDADDY! LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO (thumbs up).

10. Saskatchewan

I don’t think I like that this team has jumped up from a 17th place finish last year to being in our top 10. Is that ethical? I don’t know because they seem like the type of squad to be a bag of trail mix just absolutely nuts. Quintan Fast is back and that’s been a huge help for the Huskies. Brandon Antaya didn’t compete at U SPORTS last year either and he had a great run at CanWest. These guys were just a couple points away from beating out U Vic for silver. Dang. If they keep ordering up bowls of cereal while strapped into a banana costume on the couch they might do even better than tenth.

Verdict: needs more bowls.

9. St. FX

Going big and so hopefully not going home on St. FX teams this season. The X-Men don’t come in ranked in the top ten and finished second at the AUS championships to UNB. They’ve got 5 pretty solid guys here though. Gallant, McCullagh, Gamble, King, MacDonald. None of them can falter if they want to put up a good result. Not quite the Dal Wrecking Crew of days past but nothing to sneeze at either. By the way, do people purposely sneeze on stuff? Like is it even possible to sneeze on command? I don’t think so. ANYWAY, you just know Coach Gillis is blasting these guys through pine needle forest loops near bear habitats for their workouts, barefoot too. They’ve got the mental toughness, so let’s see what they can do out there. I used to promise glasses of milk if just one AUS team placed in the top 10. This year there might be two. Would be crazy.

Verdict: needs more shoes.

8. UVic

Yeah, the UVic boys survived a Saskatoon Scare at the CanWest championships to hold on to second place, which is pretty impressive considering three of their top runners from last year, McLeish, Kuchar, and Kuipers, haven’t been in the fold this time around. Woodrow and Webster have stepped it up to support Danny Damian who leads it up front for the Vikings. Jack Boden and Marcus Ganz are helping to row the boat as well. Not sure what the chemistry of this team is like. Maybe strap them all into a 5-person canoe and see if it tips over. If they can figure that out it’s looking good. Maybe try on some of those viking helmets too.

Verdict: needs more horns.

7. McMaster

The Maroon birds come into this with all kinds of confidence. Their mantra of “anyone can blow up” is one that basically gives them the mindset that any team is beatable. I guess that’s technically true, there are always some athletes who hit the wall at U SPORTS. I don’t think as many will get WWE smacked down as McMaster needs to do better than seventh, but you never know. Alec Purnell was a big boost to the team after joining to do a graduate program. If he figures it out on an XC course and some of the other guys have good days it could be a big one. Matt Markson has finally recovered from his 2021 U SPORTS AP exploits in Québec, and then Webb, Davies, Faruggia, Patrick, and Weist round out the roster.

Verdict: needs more explosions.

6. UBC

The T Birds lost heavy hitters with 3 of their top 4 athletes from their gold medal winning team aging out. They still managed to take the W at the CanWest championships. Impressive. This Jaiveer Tiwana (JT) guy is the real deal. Filion and Schimmelpenninck are doing well. At the end of the day though, the T Birds are in rebuild mode. They’ve probably gotta strap into their hard hats and drive a bulldozer through their fitness for another season before breaking the top 5. I’m a little worried about the depth. Jonah Brost needs to have a good run. JT and JB. I forgot to mention DU, Dylan Uhrich. My advice? The T Birds just need to RTS this year, respect the send.

Verdict: needs more blueprints.

5. Sherbrooke

Je suis en désaccord avec Sherbrooke parce que ces gars-là ont deux baguettes super basses en Turgeon et Quirion, mais ils manquent vraiment de profondeur. BAGUETTES SUPER BASSES babyyyyy. Je ne sais pas si j’ai bien traduit, mais j’espère que c’est suffisant. Les gars verts ont battu les rouges au RSEQ, et on entend dire qu’ils ont les « oreilles soiré . Le soir, on peut les trouver dans des pubs sous-sol en train d’écouter le rock grunge le plus bruyant que l’on puisse imaginer. Si ça ne fait pas trembler les fondations de la maison, c’est que ce n’est pas assez fort. Vous pouvez essayer de harceler les gars vert, mais ils ne vous entendent pas. Des choses passionnantes. J’ai failli oublier. La dernière fois que Sherbrooke a gagné le RSEQ, c’était en 2010 avant que Laval ne le gagne 12 fois de suite. Nous avons vérifié ces résultats et sommes tombés sur l’homme, le mythe, la légende, le grand-père de 38 ans Ferdinand BUZINGO qui les a aidés à gagner.

Verdict: needs more buzingo.

4. Laval

« I don’t always drive cars, but when I do, there’s more #MoreCar » Les garçons ont été privés d’un 13 malchanceux au RSEQ, mais cela signifie peut-être qu’ils seront prêts à se battre contre U SPORTS. Le vert et or écoute peut-être du rock grunge de sous-sol, mais le rouge et or a diffusé des rimes sur leurs haut-parleurs toute la saison. 50 Cent et Souldia sont en tête de liste. Si Morneau-Cartier peut continuer à surfer sur les capots des autos et Saal peut être l’acide, alors les boys pourraient battre le vert et or. Un dernier tour pour Danny G aussi. Il doit en avoir une bonne.

Verdict: Needs more acide. Le photo en bas a beaucoup.

3. Guelph

Now we get to the Guelpherinos. They’re led up front by the 1-2 combo of Max Davies and Jack Lehto. Comes with fries and a drink. Christian “Punk” Rachner has been following that up in the 3 spot. The Gryphons need the back end to lift them up a bit. Let’s get some glute work in boys. Maybe toss in a few climbs on the stairmaster like the women’s team. Adam Schmidt is usually someone who can slide on the tinted lenses and cycle the legs out there when it counts. Maybe he can put Charlie Mills in his bike carriage and go for a ride around Mission Park to help clutch it for the team.

Verdict: needs more stairs.

2. UNB

UNB might be taking over as the top Reds team after Laval had been holding that down for a long time. They’re coming in hot after an AUS win. They keep a level head by taking the sticks to the ice once in a while and having a good skate. We’re hearing the NHL on TNT theme song has been radiating from their hotel room ever since they arrived in Kelowna. People were complaining about the noise at first but eventually came to respect the vibe. Led by Jared This is Howse We Do It up front and Will Boyle close behind, the reds have that veteran presence. Mitch the lean Kean fighting machine is still on the squad too. The three of them were both on the teams that finished 11th in 2022 and 6th last year. Who the heck are these rookies? Silas Conlin-Morse and Brodie Pennie sound like James Bond characters. The Nova Scotia screamers have been a huge add to the UNB team. Not sure they’re gonna win, but would be cool if they did. Maybe if they all buzz their head to get that aerodynamic flow like Howse does.

Verdict: needs more razor.

1. Queen’s

It’s looking like the Queen’s guys might finally be able to live up to their name and celly to We Are The Champions, but what looks good on paper doesn’t always play out in real life so you never know. Jude has been Wheeling Dees out there. Roman Mironov came back with an Australian accent which is kinda weird but that doesn’t affect his running ability. Will Cox grinded through physio placement isolation and is really putting the mustard on his hot dogs this year. We’re hearing he’s even been toasting the buns. That’s elite. T Dawg Hueglin and Angus Skinnerrrrrrrrrrrrrr have seen big improvement. They’ve got support from Peter Neil and Owen Danby. Lookin like a W for the Golden Gaels, so I guess they will live up to both their university name AND their team name if they win. Better celly with some cinnamon toast crunch.

Verdict: needs more cereal.

Individuals

First off, apologies to leaving Conlin-Morse out of the predictions contest, and also for putting Jack Lehto in two groups. DOUBLE THE JACK. It actually doesn’t affect the contest at all to do that though which is kinda funny. Pick him twice OR DON’T.

Secondly though, oh baby can Ronnie Mac hang with the rest of the guys up front? Philippe is gonna be gazzed up. Wheeler-Dee, Davies, and Lehto are all threats. So is Howse. Can Benoit throw down an absolute heater again like he did last year? Can’t call it, but have a cooling pack on standby because it’s gonna be HOT.

Verdict: needs more ice.

Post-Secondary

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